all black nonsense
Good morning listeners…
Last night I was taunted by a generator listener who said I never ranted about the all blacks. So as not to appear that I have only one testicle and a penchant for non contact sports – this morning’s rant will be on the all blacks.
However, I must confess that a rant about the all blacks will not be a marty devlin analysis and when or if I use the word maul.. I will do so without knowing exactly what it is apart from the fact that it will sound tough. Maul.
The all blacks have just completed a grand slam. A grand slam is like a grand piano. In our case, the black keys kicked the proverbial aesthetics of the white keys. The white keys are so plundered by the black keys they remain silent. This is a grand slam. Grand of course comes from the latin root grandis – meaning large. So we can gather then that for the all blacks to win over these huge rugby nations such as Ireland, wales, Scotland and England – it’s very large. Large. Slam of course comes from the playground where it’s known colloqually as a body slam – to hurt the weak fulla that knicked your play lunch from the cloak room. Maul.
Anyway.. grand slam. Way to go all blacks. I wonder though if our hammering on about us being fanatical about rugby is really true…. For instance, honest dave has an all black banner with a small adidas logo on trade me. Now, you’d think a black banner, 3.9 mters long by 1.6, with the words all blacks is every new Zealanders wet dream. Especially considering 2011. Its mint condition. Well… people prepared to be shocked….maul. A banner such as this for a mere 50$ went unsold on trade me. Un sold. Its back this week, and still I only have one watcher and has only been viewed by 78 people… the auction closes Sunday. I don’t want to be an all blacks atheist but.. I have grave concerns about media representations about a country obsessed with the all blacks when a holy grail item on trade me has to get relisted. Maul.
… next week I am putting a nuclear reactor on trade me to see how many bids that gets. That’ll tell us for sure if we really are an anti nukes country wont it… maul.
Honest dave did get up in the early hours of Sunday morning for the grand slam. … my motives though are fairly dishonest for such an honest one as i. What I really get up for is the childhood fantasy of pikelets at half time. My honest mum would always hit the frypan, not too worried about grant batty’s intercept or missing brian Williams kick a penalty from our 22. She wouldn’t care if she missed sid going’s latest hair cut. Yep – she just delivered pikelets at half time with strawberry jam and cream. Needless to say that these days my half time culinary nostalgia, the warm pikelet almost palatable on my tongue is harshly deconstructed by the sharp doof of the toaster handle. Maul.
Anyway… way to go all blacks. Maul. Grand slam. Maul. I watched the English game though. It least it was close. And it least the all blacks hugged each other…. I try to wake my 6 year old son for this part. there such healthy role models. Grown staunch blokes giving each other cuddles. I also try to get my son to go to sleep when the haka is on where they slit their own throats. This no 6 year old should see. I mean he had nightmares after watching aussies sing waltzing matilda.
As for the aussies voting against us for the world cup. Must have a short memory those Australian brothers of ours... let me say just one word to you knife in the back, transtasman traitors of Tasmania and beyond,
Gallipoli…
…and maul. Too. I forgot to say. maul.
You’ve been listening to a soft soccer player’s all black rant on the generator..
Last night I was taunted by a generator listener who said I never ranted about the all blacks. So as not to appear that I have only one testicle and a penchant for non contact sports – this morning’s rant will be on the all blacks.
However, I must confess that a rant about the all blacks will not be a marty devlin analysis and when or if I use the word maul.. I will do so without knowing exactly what it is apart from the fact that it will sound tough. Maul.
The all blacks have just completed a grand slam. A grand slam is like a grand piano. In our case, the black keys kicked the proverbial aesthetics of the white keys. The white keys are so plundered by the black keys they remain silent. This is a grand slam. Grand of course comes from the latin root grandis – meaning large. So we can gather then that for the all blacks to win over these huge rugby nations such as Ireland, wales, Scotland and England – it’s very large. Large. Slam of course comes from the playground where it’s known colloqually as a body slam – to hurt the weak fulla that knicked your play lunch from the cloak room. Maul.
Anyway.. grand slam. Way to go all blacks. I wonder though if our hammering on about us being fanatical about rugby is really true…. For instance, honest dave has an all black banner with a small adidas logo on trade me. Now, you’d think a black banner, 3.9 mters long by 1.6, with the words all blacks is every new Zealanders wet dream. Especially considering 2011. Its mint condition. Well… people prepared to be shocked….maul. A banner such as this for a mere 50$ went unsold on trade me. Un sold. Its back this week, and still I only have one watcher and has only been viewed by 78 people… the auction closes Sunday. I don’t want to be an all blacks atheist but.. I have grave concerns about media representations about a country obsessed with the all blacks when a holy grail item on trade me has to get relisted. Maul.
… next week I am putting a nuclear reactor on trade me to see how many bids that gets. That’ll tell us for sure if we really are an anti nukes country wont it… maul.
Honest dave did get up in the early hours of Sunday morning for the grand slam. … my motives though are fairly dishonest for such an honest one as i. What I really get up for is the childhood fantasy of pikelets at half time. My honest mum would always hit the frypan, not too worried about grant batty’s intercept or missing brian Williams kick a penalty from our 22. She wouldn’t care if she missed sid going’s latest hair cut. Yep – she just delivered pikelets at half time with strawberry jam and cream. Needless to say that these days my half time culinary nostalgia, the warm pikelet almost palatable on my tongue is harshly deconstructed by the sharp doof of the toaster handle. Maul.
Anyway… way to go all blacks. Maul. Grand slam. Maul. I watched the English game though. It least it was close. And it least the all blacks hugged each other…. I try to wake my 6 year old son for this part. there such healthy role models. Grown staunch blokes giving each other cuddles. I also try to get my son to go to sleep when the haka is on where they slit their own throats. This no 6 year old should see. I mean he had nightmares after watching aussies sing waltzing matilda.
As for the aussies voting against us for the world cup. Must have a short memory those Australian brothers of ours... let me say just one word to you knife in the back, transtasman traitors of Tasmania and beyond,
Gallipoli…
…and maul. Too. I forgot to say. maul.
You’ve been listening to a soft soccer player’s all black rant on the generator..
posted by Honest Dave at 4:40 pm
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