biggish wednesday

Big Wednesday used to be about surfing if my recollection serves me collectly. Collect me if I’m wrong, but Big Wednesday, released 1978 about Californian dreaming is about big waves. Free big waves. Waves that swell from the very bosom of tangaroa without a price tag. Oceanic waves of mass construction forming a playground for every santa barbarian punk with fiberglass and fins up for it. Big Wednesday is folk lore amongst the wax fraternity. Some things must remain. like don brash and saddam’s bunker. Don’t mess with

So not only did NZ Lottery commission steal a zillion dollars from all punters country wide who thought they’d have a 16 millioneth chance, they ripped a classic legendary iconic name like big Wednesday from every grommet who would prefer to flutter board than flutter their soft earned drug cash on gambling.

Wednesday used to be quite big enough thank you nz lottery commission. i liked Wednesday when it was just Wednesday. If Wednesday becomes big, then how will Monday and Tuesday and Thursday and Friday and Saturday and Sunday spose to feel. major Performance anxiety I suspect. wednesday will surely become big bully boy Wednesday once it thinks it’s the shizzle in the middle. Yep… mark my honest words…… im betting heads…. and tails, that Wednesday will get so far up itself its going to be looking right at the dawn of Thursday telling it to sod off till lunch..

Yep, before you know it big bully boy Wednesday will be trying to pay out all the beneficiaries on a Wednesday, whispering slander to all the pregnant solo mothers saying its bigger than all of pregnant porirua put together… give it another 6 months, Wednesday will be giving Friday the proverbial pants down and showing it it’s big calendar date by inviting the general nz workforce to knock off for 4 oclock drinks mid week – on a Wednesday. Within a year we’ll be sitting down to watch super 14 on a Wednesday. Soprano’s will be straight after. Christmas will be on a wednesday, the 25th or not. Good Friday will now be Good Wednesday and Wednesday will walk like Audrey Hepburn, laugh like winstoned peters, and speak without grace about his mother like eminem. Big styles indeed.

I just think the nz lottery commission has no right to fruit around with the days of the week. Yes Hollywood can screw the most macho stereotype known to mankind, and clint eastwood, and fixate gay cowboys at the ‘im ok - your ok’ corral. But to put a prefix, a lame adjective like ‘big’ infront of Wednesday – that’s gone too far. We stick sir in front of peoples names so their given some status. Putting big in front of Wednesday only puts it in the big sale at the warehouse category. Not really something at all really. Why didn’t they just prostitute Wednesday fully and call it ‘big ups’ Wednesday and pimp it up and down fort street in fishnet stockings. Honestly.

Lets reserve ‘big’ for people who need to be called ‘big’ – like 72hr water boy big norm hewitts bro, and like big greedy amy from small town nz.

…oh yes, this week amy our big lucky loser steals 40$ of chicken from the local butcher. butcher watches the film and can’t identify the big girl. butcher gets a still photo and puts a sign in the window ‘lucky shopper wins prize’ . our big chicken stealer enters the shop to claim her prize, gives her big details and is referred to the local police department real slow cos you can't never lose a loser like that. That’s big.

So…congratulations to the lucky winner in thames trying to remain anonymous with a new Porsche and range rover in the carport…. Good onya…may you make poverty history. And May the nz lotteries commission learn that big isn’t always better and that Wednesday is happily Wed thank you very much indeed. K-noth.

You’ve been listening to another honest rant on the generator 89 fm