hamaster blaster - the new rule in the east
Sometimes strange things just happen. On Wednesday night, 6.05 pm approx I rammed a car from behind. This car was making a left turn, she was slowing and turning. …. I looked right to see also the road clear, and begin to follow her left turn.
Alas - I hit the brakes, but her vehicle looms stone cold – frigid, stationary, immovable. Not going anywhere. Stopped, stopped at an intersection… so I rammed her good. I bulldozed her like I was driving a bulldozer though i was only driving a diesel van which sometimes makes me feel big and muscular like van desiel. I rammed her good because she stopped. I got out feeling big and muscular and spitting tacks. She got out, She showed me the stop sign that happened to say stop… . I felt less van dieseil and gave her my details. She said her insurance company would get in touch with me…. Which probably won’t be to say that I’ve won a prize.
If I was a heart surgeon selling freaken truckloads of psuedo ephredrine in telfast boxes for 25, 000 dollars an hour I would probably see the funny side or at least the paranoid delusion but I use it only for medicinal purposes
As for the cops..they always go on and on about how 18 year olds always think there bullet proof behind a car. Well, my van was at least 18 years old right, and it was right behind the car and its not looking too bullet proof now. Bullet proof hilarious - A blue nissan sedan wasted it for goodness sake, officer honestly!
Sometimes you don’t know if your insured until you crash. sometimes you don’t know your pregnant until you have sex. Sometimes you don’t know you’re a vegaterian until you eat meat. Sometimes you don’t live until you die. Sometimes you have never heard the sound of one van crashing – until you crash.
When you crash, there’s that post coital moment of insured uncertainty - you’re not sure whether to think bugger with a little b or BUGGER spelt with a big B. ‘im pretty sure im not 3rd party and I’ll cry if I want too’ was the song I came to hum.
In a less important intersection in middle east politics, last week palestinians engaged in democracy –yes, democracy the golden egg of the bush administration, and voted up a terrorist organisation. Hamas, the ku klux klan of the east, now have the power of the people as well as plastic explosives. The US were not sure to think bugger with a little b or howl from the white house to tel aviv BUGGER with a capital B.
And Hamas showed signs of being really shy - they do not recognise israel. Which is pretty sad really considering their neighbours – but then I wouldn’t be able to recognise my neighbours – all I know is that their scottish, over 60 and they drive a black car. And can you recognise your neighbours? Obviuosly hamas and israel can get along.. they probably just need a diner for 6 or something, or oprah but here’s the honest dave middle east peace plan.… a road map if you will.
Palestine just needs to buy a dog, a white dog preferably, it will escape, as dogs do, and then you’ve got an excuse to go round the other guys place. Palestine will then be able to recognise israel all because of a nice dog called ‘jihad in the name of allah’,
I really do think world peace is attainable. Coca cola tried to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony and failed. but now we have the techonolgy it is attainable, the time is now. Sony playstation singstar is the answer. Where there is singstar there is love, joy and peace. Don’t make poverty history – make playstations more affordable.
You have been listening to an honest dave rant on the generator – 89 fm.
Alas - I hit the brakes, but her vehicle looms stone cold – frigid, stationary, immovable. Not going anywhere. Stopped, stopped at an intersection… so I rammed her good. I bulldozed her like I was driving a bulldozer though i was only driving a diesel van which sometimes makes me feel big and muscular like van desiel. I rammed her good because she stopped. I got out feeling big and muscular and spitting tacks. She got out, She showed me the stop sign that happened to say stop… . I felt less van dieseil and gave her my details. She said her insurance company would get in touch with me…. Which probably won’t be to say that I’ve won a prize.
If I was a heart surgeon selling freaken truckloads of psuedo ephredrine in telfast boxes for 25, 000 dollars an hour I would probably see the funny side or at least the paranoid delusion but I use it only for medicinal purposes
As for the cops..they always go on and on about how 18 year olds always think there bullet proof behind a car. Well, my van was at least 18 years old right, and it was right behind the car and its not looking too bullet proof now. Bullet proof hilarious - A blue nissan sedan wasted it for goodness sake, officer honestly!
Sometimes you don’t know if your insured until you crash. sometimes you don’t know your pregnant until you have sex. Sometimes you don’t know you’re a vegaterian until you eat meat. Sometimes you don’t live until you die. Sometimes you have never heard the sound of one van crashing – until you crash.
When you crash, there’s that post coital moment of insured uncertainty - you’re not sure whether to think bugger with a little b or BUGGER spelt with a big B. ‘im pretty sure im not 3rd party and I’ll cry if I want too’ was the song I came to hum.
In a less important intersection in middle east politics, last week palestinians engaged in democracy –yes, democracy the golden egg of the bush administration, and voted up a terrorist organisation. Hamas, the ku klux klan of the east, now have the power of the people as well as plastic explosives. The US were not sure to think bugger with a little b or howl from the white house to tel aviv BUGGER with a capital B.
And Hamas showed signs of being really shy - they do not recognise israel. Which is pretty sad really considering their neighbours – but then I wouldn’t be able to recognise my neighbours – all I know is that their scottish, over 60 and they drive a black car. And can you recognise your neighbours? Obviuosly hamas and israel can get along.. they probably just need a diner for 6 or something, or oprah but here’s the honest dave middle east peace plan.… a road map if you will.
Palestine just needs to buy a dog, a white dog preferably, it will escape, as dogs do, and then you’ve got an excuse to go round the other guys place. Palestine will then be able to recognise israel all because of a nice dog called ‘jihad in the name of allah’,
I really do think world peace is attainable. Coca cola tried to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony and failed. but now we have the techonolgy it is attainable, the time is now. Sony playstation singstar is the answer. Where there is singstar there is love, joy and peace. Don’t make poverty history – make playstations more affordable.
You have been listening to an honest dave rant on the generator – 89 fm.
posted by Honest Dave at 9:50 am
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